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  23 October 2017   Arts and Writing  |  Beauty & Style  |  Education  |  Entertainment  |  Family & Romance  |  Health  |  Politics & Business  |  Sports  |  Technology & Autos  |  Travel  | 
   
 
Fashion Faux Pas: Cease and Desist II
October 07 , 2013

I promised to do a sequel to the FASHION FAUX PAS post so here we are! Last post talked about fashion fails from CAMEL TOES to BUTT CRACKS & WHALE TAILS from too much CLEAVAGE to VISIBLE PANTY LINES also known as VPL’s. We even talked about wearing UNDERSIZED BRAS and SAGGING outside prison walls. BELLY SHIRTS weren’t left out of course! 

In this installment, we’ll be looking at elements such as colours, patterns and lots more, so get a bowl of pop-corn and a cup of something potent! 

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STAINED CLOTHES

I don’t care if it’s your best outfit. I don’t care if your grandmother gave it to you before she died. I don’t care if has the picture of your baby’s first A B C. If it’s stained and try as you may, you haven’t been able to remove the stain, sweetheart, you’ve gotta let it rest in peace. After washing and drying, always (ALWAYS) check your clothes through and through to make sure no stain sneaked in on you by some misfortune.

DRESSING FOR THE WRONG CLIME AND SEASON

In Nigeria, we have 2 seasons. Rainy Season and Dry season also known as harmattan. Some parts of the country have harmattan worse than others but for the most of it, Nigeria is WARM therefore our clothes are supposed to be generic - Think summer collection. Do you now understand why it would boggle my mind me to see people wearing leather jackets, knit tops or even Uggs? To where? If you lived in cold climes, I would understand but Nigeria when it’s not cold, cold Jos?? Cammaaan.

FANNY PACKS

Fanny packs (or waist purse like we call it here) should be left at NYSC camps and the market place. No one should be caught wearing fanny packs. NO ONE! Even tourists won’t be forgiven. Carry a back pack or something. Fanny Packs. Urrrghhh.

UNDERSIZED CLOTHES

Looking like you’re wearing your doll’s clothes is a no-no not sexy at all. A total turn off. If you aren’t a size zero, you cannot be a size zero by wearing size zero clothes. SERIOUSLY. Please, wear only clothes you size. Wear body shapers if and when necessary. One more thing: RESIST THE TEMPTATION TO EAT MORE CARBS THAT YOU NEED TO SURVIVE!

COLOURS, COLOURS AND MORE COLOURS!

Wearing too many colours make you noticeable in a very bad way. That kind of attention will not get that fella to your side asking for your phone number! Colour blocking? Is that what they told you it’s called? Please sissy, limit the colours to 2-3 (Except you are wearing print then you’d have to match it with block coloured accessories)

While you’re at it, find colours that complement each other. Explore…

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....and that’s about all! The other stuff, I can live with. If you have contrary views or faux pas to share, please feel free to use the comment box below. I look forward to reading your comments.

Yours in Style,

X.

. . . . . . .

Learn more about this author, X Uzoma.
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