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Fashion Faux Pas: Cease and Desist
July 17 , 2013

Fashion is architecture: it is a matter of proportions.

{Attributed to Coco Chanel (1883 - 1971) French fashion designer.}

Coco Chanel probably had something else going on in her head when she said those words but for the purpose of this article, it will serve as a guide. This column is about Fashion and style and how to get it right, therefore, it has become imperative to address fashion some faux pas and general fashion don’ts.

 You can grab a cup of tea or coffee while you read. I’m going to need your rapt attention.

Now, let’s get to it.



Camel toe is a slang term that refers to the outline of a human female’s labia majora, as seen through tightly fitting clothes. Due to a combination of anatomical factors and the snugness of the fabric covering it, the crotch and pudendal cleft may take on a resemblance to the forefoot of a camel. (Wikipedia)

Please, please ladies, we really don’t want to be confronted by the outline of your...lady parts. How to make this go away? Resist the temptation to wear undersized pants/tights etc. The tighter your bottoms, the more crotch the world sees, see?

BUTT CRACKS, WHALE TAILS...and all between.

We’re all accustomed to butt-cracks. We see them every day, sadly. The whale tail is a whole new dimension to butt-peek business. A whale tail is the Y-shaped waistband of a thong or G-string when visible above the waistline of low-rise jeans, shorts, or a skirt that resembles a whale’s tail.

A whale tail is exposed above the trousers mostly when sitting or bending. Flashing whale tails became popular in the early 2000s, together with the rise of low-rise jeans and thong underwear. The trend was popularized by a number of female celebrities and though reduced within the decade, is still very much a fad.

You see, I hate to be the one to break this to you but UNDERWEAR IS UNDERWEAR. I know sometimes we wear underwear so sexy we want the world to notice. Sorry chica. Not sexy. More like....Slutty. Trust me, slutty is not a great adjective.



Don’t get it twisted, I like a little cleavage once in a while, I find it extremely feminine and attractive. However, there’s such a thing as too much. You know the kind that borders on ”WHAT WERE YOU THINKING???” That point when it becomes sexual abuse. Please, just STOP.

Trust me, you, milady, can exude sex appeal without all but your nipples in the full glare of the world. It’s just one thing: LOW.


VPL’s (Visible Panty Lines)

This is a personal pet peeve. I usually advice people choose panties according to what kind of bottoms they’re wearing. For instance, if you’re going to wear a full skirt, any kind of underwear will do but if your skirt is snug, thongs or full panties that won’t poke through your clothes are your best bet.

VPLs are eye-sores. Really.


Apart from VPLs, undersized bras are another sure way of looking unserious. Every woman should know exactly what her bra size is. There’s another curious set of women who insist on bras 2-3 sizes smaller for whatever reason. If your bra gives you ample flesh around the armpits, around the cleavage and under boobs, you need to change them. You need to get bigger bras. (To calculate your REAL bra size, Check:   


I used to think this was a boy disease. I was wrong. We have just as many girl saggers, I was loathe to find out.

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